Every Mothers Nightmare
by Eddy Leonhartslover
Summary: Disclaimer: I do not own the rights, or the lefts to Devil May Cry. Capcom does. A series of short stories that delve into Vergil and Dante's childhood. I am using the characters from the original DMC. Let the hilarity begin. If I run out of ideas I may ask. Some swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights, or the lefts to Devil May Cry. Capcom does.

Have you ever wondered what it was like when Vergil and Dante were children? I have decided to do a series of short stories that will answer those questions. When I run out of ideas I may ask for prompts, so be prepared. No rating okay for everyone. May have mild swearing nothing harsher than damn or hell. I use the Dante and Vergil from DMC 3.

Every Mothers Nightmare

STORY ONE:

I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU!

Eva had had enough. She loved her boys she really did, but there were times that they drove her to distraction. Like today. Every time she turned around they were arguing about something, breaking something, or playing the most annoying game ever, and this was coming from a woman who had seven older brothers.

And it started again.

Dante held his finger a scant 1/32nd of an inch away from his twin's nose, and said those four words that every parent hates to hear, "I'm not touching you." Which was repeated at least half a million times until the inevitable KERSMACK! Of Vergil having enough and laying the smacketh down on his twin.

The KERSMACK was inevitably followed by, "MOOOOM! I wasn't touching him." What could she do? She had tried to explain to Dante that even though he wasn't touching Vergil, when Vergil got irritated enough and hauled off and smacked him, that it wasn't worth it.

She didn't have a chance to intervene, because when she walked into living room it was total devastation. It looked like a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, and any other natural and unnatural disaster had hit her normally clean living room. Vergil had Dante around the neck and was getting ready to slam his head into the floor the entire time he was chanting, "I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I…"

"…Have had enough!" Eva shouted over the din. "I have told your father 837 times that something needs to be done to curtail this abundance of excess energy and he doesn't listen to me."

Then she started to pace back and forth, muttering to herself and out loud, "Let them go outside and play… 'Oh no they might get hurt.' Let them go to the youth center. 'Oh, we can't do that someone else might get hurt.' Let them do something that does not involve yanking my hair out by the roots. 'Now Eva honey you know they are not that bad.'." The entire time she was swinging the cast iron skillet that she had taken out to start dinner in back and forth.

It was this scene that Sparda walked in on and said those oh so inevitable words that made Eva happy that she had a bottle of her daddy's moonshine on hand, because right now she needed it. Most women had Calgon moments, she had White Lightening moments. "Eva honey what happened? Why is the living room such a mess? And why are you talking to yourself?"

If she would have had her guns she would have shot him. Dead, buried, no longer in existence. She stopped pacing, turned around and gave him a look that could freeze hell, stomped over to him and lambasted him up the side of the head with the skillet and snarled, "I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU!"

Dropped the skillet pounded up the stairs to their bedroom, entered the master bath and started to fill the tub. She did have Calgon and right now she needed it along with a couple of gallons, make that shots of her daddy's special recipe. Striping off her clothes she eased her body into the tub only to hear the door knob rattle.

"If you open that door, I will feed you to the gators." Eva said loud enough to be heard. The noise stopped and quickly disappeared.

When she went downstairs two hours later, she had a plan. This time she was going to get her own way come hell, highwater and the threat of her daddy.

The living room was in even worse shape. There were feathers everywhere from where pillows had exploded open during what could only be construed as a pillow war. Not a fight just an out and out war. She bit back that scream of rage but When she walked into the kitchen she couldn't contain it anymore, "That is it. They go to the priest or to my father."


	2. Chapter 2

Every Mothers Nightmare

STORY 2:

WHERE'S GOD

Dante and Vergil were walking down the sidewalk on their way to Saint Michael's. The decision had reluctantly fell on their sire's shoulders. Their mother had given him the choice, of their grandfather, whom they loved, or Father Donovan, whom they also loved. Loved to torment and to question his methods of theology and religion. This wasn't their first trip to see him, nor was it going to be their last. As long as their father had a choice they would not be able to visit the cantankerous old man who was their grandfather,

Their father and grandfather had a love/hate relationship. They loved to hate each other. They didn't know why. But, if they knew the truth they would laugh like demented loons. When Sparda had first met Jonah Redgrave, Jonah had pulled his twin pistols, one black the other white which he had christened Ebony and Ivory. The white pistol's barrel was pressed under Sparda's chin, where the blacks was shoved hard enough in his crotch that it bruised his testicles, followed by, "Ya ever hurt her boyo and I'll feed ya to the gators. But that's only after the Bubba's and me give you an ass-whuppin'."  
Sparda had swallowed, for some reason he knew it wasn't a threat but a promise. He wanted to put this puny mortal in his place but then he scented it. There was something different about this man and his family. He didn't know what it was, but eventually he would.

Dante groaned, "What are we going to do Verge?"

Vergil looked at his twin and replied, "Don't worry Taye. I've got so many questions for him to answer he will be busy from now until," he paused and quickly crossed himself, he didn't want to irritate god with inadvertent blasphemy, "the second coming."

The closer they got to the church the slower they begin to walk. The sun was dappling through the leaves giving the sidewalk an eerie green tint, and they felt they knew exactly how prisoners on death row were going through as they walked 'The Green Mile.'

Arriving at the big oak doors they entered the church, and stopped to light a candle for no one in particular, it was something they had seen the parishioners do and wanted to be polite. Father Donovan had observed them as they walked through the door. He had been called by their mother so he was expecting them. His hand lingered over the receiver when he saw Dante and Vergil pick up matches. He could have the fire department on the phone in a matter of seconds. He was surprised when he saw them light candles.

When they arrived at his office he indicated one of the empty chairs in the reception area, and said, "Vergil have a seat. I want to talk to Dante alone." Vergil reluctantly sat down and watched as his twin was escorted into the office.

Between the two boys, Father Donovan preferred to talk to the younger of the twins. The elder would ask him questions that were difficult to answer. But the younger of the boys, all it took was a stern look and a couple of Bible verses and Dante would crumble and confess everything that he and his brother had done.

Today Father Donovan was going to try a different approach, he sat in the chair that was beside Dante's and asked, "Dante do you know where god is?"

Dante's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything.

The priest asked again, this time his voice was just a little sterner, "Dante, where is god?"

Dante pushed further back in the chair, hoping and yes even praying that the chair would swallow him down with one hungry gulp. He remained quiet, although his heart was beating so hard and fast he was surprised the priest didn't hear it.

Since the child still didn't answer, Father Donovan leaned in and thumping his fists on the arms of the chairs he raised his voice to just below a shout, "Dante Christopher Sparda, you tell me where god is right now!"

Dante jumped up pushed past the priest, yanked the door open and ran into the waiting area, grabbed his startled twin by the arm and pulled him out of the chair where he was sitting and left the church at a dead run. He ran down the street dragging Vergil behind him. When they got home, he kept his grip on his brother and yanked him up the stairs and drug him into the attic, where he huddled in a corner holding unto Vergil.

Vergil had never seen his brother like this, and he asked, "Dante. Dante. What's wrong?" The concern was evident in his voice.

Before Dante could answer, Vergil growled. "Did he hurt you? Did he touch you? If he did I don't care if I go straight to hell. I'll kill him." He jumped to his feet and pulled the folding dagger from his pocket and was ready to go back to the church and defend his brother.

"Vergie, no. He didn't hurt me."

"Then what's wrong?" Vergil slipped the dagger back in his pocket and squatted down in front of his brother concern in his Nordic blue eyes.

Dante sobbed out, "Vergil it's awful. God's missing and they think we took him."

Authors Note: Hope you are enjoying this short sillies. Reviews are more than welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

Reviews are welcome…PLEASE!

STORY THREE:

NINE LIVES

It was a bright spring morning, there was a scent of fresh baked bread and home-made strawberry jam wafting through the house. Sparda had taken Dante on a daddy and me, play date, just like he would be taking Vergil the following Saturday, and on the third Saturday he would take them both out, giving Eva a break. Not that she minded her boys she loved all three of them to distraction, but she did enjoy the breaks. Right now, she was busy in the kitchen, she knew that Vergil was watching television in the living room and she knew that there would be no destruction and havoc that would be happening if both her boys were unsupervised. But alone, they were more manageable.

"Mama?" Vergil said from the doorway.

She wiped her hands on a towel turned and smiled down at her oldest son but the smile that had started to form on her lips turned into a look of concern over the tears in her son's deep glacier blue eyes.

Dashing over she knelt and scooped her son into her arms and asked, "What's wrong honey?"

Burrowing his face in her soft lavender scented neck and sobbed, "Mama. Oh, mama it's horrible."

"What's horrible Vergil?" Eva asked as she stroked his hair.

"I…I…I was watching T.V. and…and…they were talking about a man who was doing horrible things." Vergil sobbed out.

Eva was shocked. What had her son been watching that had him so upset. She tried to think what her husband had been watching last night before he came to bed. Scooping him up in her arms she walked over to the table sat down and cuddled him closer. Picking up a napkin she wiped the tears from his cheeks, and ask softly, "Vergil Angel, what were you watching?"

Vergil hiccoughed a little and taking the napkin from his mom he wiped his nose, and folded it up and put it in his pocket. "I was watching the news mama…and they were talking about a man who was doing bad things to kitties."

Eva put her hand over mouth to cover the gasp of surprise. Dear god in heaven. What had he seen. Please don't let it have been about animal abuse. "Vergil?" She managed to get past the lump in her throat, "Vergil, I want you to tell me what this man was doing to the kitties."

"Well mama they were talking about a cat burglar. And I know that burglars steal things that don't belong to them, so that means that he was stealing cats." Vergil sobbed out. Tears spiked on his eyes lashes and he asked. His heart breaking more and more with each word, "What does he do with the cat's mama? He doesn't hurt them, does he?"

"Ohhh honey. No, he doesn't hurt the cats, I promise." Eva kissed the top of his head, "Vergil Angel, a cat burglar doesn't steal cats. But he does steal things."

"Then why do they call him a cat burglar mama?"

"Well honey, it's because of the way he or she does things. They enter areas with a great deal of stealth, and usually enter the buildings through open windows, and leave just as quietly as they came in."

She could see that her definition was processing in his facile brain. A brilliant smile greeted her, "Well that makes a lot more sense, than someone stealing cats." He looked pulled away slightly and said, "I bet you think I'm really silly, don't you?"

Eva cuddled him in and said, "No Vergil, I think you're really sweet. Now would you like a piece of fresh bread and strawberry jam." Her eyes sparkled softly, and she added, "After that we will go to the shelter and get you a kitty."

Authors note: This is a soft side of Vergil.


	4. Chapter 4

STORY FOUR:

BRIBES WORK

Eva packed the rest of the things she was taking to her brother's house for the annual Labor Day picnic. It hadn't taken much cajoling to get her husband to agree. A quick trip to Lucky's Lingerie and a night of passion had resolved his objections in a hurry.

Checking the cooler and the trunk one last time she was relieved that she hadn't forgotten anything. Now all she needed to do was wrangle her three boys into the car. Two were six and the other she would need an abacus to figure out his age.

When she walked into the house she saw that they were ready to go, clean clothes, freshly bathed and groomed, and her 'What the Hell Is Going On', senses went on full alert. That was when she noticed that Vergil and Dante were busy counting out a small stack of bills each. Glancing over at her husband he shrugged and said with a deep-throated growl, "I had to do something, and I learned from you, that bribes work." He gave her a lusty wink, and ran the tip of his tongue over his upper lip. Those not so subtle gestures, caused her cheeks to turn pink.

She was going to chastise her husband and children, but decided against it. If bribing her husband and sons was what it took to get through a family get together, she supposed that she could live with it. Vergil and Dante looked up at her and wondered if they were in trouble? There was no way that they would tattle on their father, that trait was not wired into their DNA, from either parent. Eva gave them an indulgent smile and said, "Please, please try and be good."

The cherub smiles that her sons flashed at her didn't fool her in the least. She could literally see the wheels of mischief turning. She knelt down in front of them and said, "Please, not because your daddy had to bribe you," she paused and smiled, "But to make me proud of you."

The mischievous thoughts deflated quickly not only in Vergil and Dante, but their father as well. Two sets of arms wrapped around her and Vergil said sincerely, "We'll be good mama. I promise."

Eva knew that her eldest son didn't make promises idly, and when they were made he would do his damnedest to keep that promise. She saw the nudge he gave his twin and didn't miss the, "Isn't that right Taye?"

Dante hugged her tighter and said, "Yes mama." He cocked his head to the side and asked, "Can we defend ourselves?"

That she couldn't deny them, "Of course you can my little loves, but try not to draw blood…this time." Pulling away she said, "Come on now. We need to get going. Your grandpa is going to be there." Her daddy might not care to much for his son-in-law, but he loved his grandsons, and spoiled them practically rotten.

Each time they saw their grandpa they left with pockets bulging either with some trinket he had made, candy, small flasks of moonshine which were confiscated as soon as they were found, some sort of gems or jewelry, and of course cash.

After they were loaded in the car and were on their way to her brother Beau, nee Beauregard, Vergil and Dante were sitting in the back seat, when a thought occurred to the elder of the twins, "Papa?"

Sparda turned in the seat and asked, "What is it Vergil?" It didn't bother him to let Eva drive, after all he didn't need to use, 'human transportation', since he could teleport to where ever he went, sometimes he would add a 'BAMF', like a certain comic book character from the Marvel Universe by the name of Nightcrawler. Along with the 'BAMF', he would leave the subtle scent of sulfur behind.

"How come we never go and visit your family?" Vergil asked.

He almost choked, how could he explain to his children that he was dead to those he once considered family. Oh, he had some very close friends from the underworld, that he would visit occasionally, but, he wasn't sure if they were old enough to meet them yet.

Before he could stutter out an answer, Eva saved him by saying. "Not now honey. We're here."

He smiled at his children and said, "I'll tell you later." And turned back around in the seat, missing Vergil mentally file the question away to make sure to ask it later.

Eva pulled the car into the driveway, and parked behind her daddy's pickup, as soon as she stopped the car, two things happened her daddy came barreling off the porch and the back doors opened and her sons piled out and met their grandfather at the halfway point.

Vergil and Dante were scooped up in their grandfather's burly arms and hugged so tight that it would have probably broken bones in a mortal child, but not them.  
Squeezing them a little tighter Lucas said, sotto voce, "How are my favorite grandsons?" Not waiting for an answer, he sat them to their feet and gave them a wink that promised 'forbidden' treasures, and smiled fondly as they scampered off. He continued over to the car where his daughter was just exiting, he scooped her up and gave her an equally tight hug, and said, "I've missed you cher'. Now head on into the house. Me and the son-in-law will bring the stuff in."


	5. Chapter 5

As before I still don't own them. Please , please review! Enjoy!

Part 5

IT'S HUGE, IT SINGS, IT'S PURPLE! WHAT THE HELL IS IT?

Eva, Sparda, her father, brothers and their wives were sitting in the kitchen catching up on what had been happening in their lives since the last time they saw each other.

Even though she was listening to the conversation she was also keeping an ear out for her boys who were in the family room watching television with their cousins, so far there had been no name calling or bloodshed.

She shuddered inwardly, and whispered a silent prayer, and a thank you over the fact that Billy and his family were not there. Of course, after the last family get together she doubted that Billy and crew would be welcome anytime soon. The last family had gotten together, Deke, one of her brother Billy's kids had popped off and said to Vergil, "My daddy says yer daddy is free loadin' son of bitch, who needs to let up on the peroxide."

What followed could have only been described as a smack down. She had hauled off and punched her brother dead in the face and knocked him on his ass, before anyone could say anything a tight low growl filtered in from the living room, as Vergil replied to the insult, "Well my father says, that you are inbred, and your name should be cum stain."

Her father had spit sweet tea across the table and started to choke as he gasp for breath he was laughing so hard.

Deke had shoved Vergil against the wall and punched him in the belly, "What did you say about my daddy? You scrawny white-haired bastard freak, yer nothing but a…"

No one knows what would have followed because Dante had grabbed his cousin by the neck and body slammed into the coffee table and started to beat the stuffing out of the older bigger boy., each punch had been emphasized with an angrily shouted word, "Nobody talks about my brother like that and if they want to live to see tomorrow they don't hit him."

When one of the other boys tried to intervene and hamstring Dante, Vergil had pulled his folding knife and held the blade to the boy's neck and said in cold deadly voice, "Don't even!"

Billy's wife, Ginger, had started screaming, at her father-in-law, "See we told you those boys were dangerous." She had turned her ire to Eva and said, "Those little bastards need to be locked up."

What followed was not stunned silence but the deadly cock of a pistol, "What did you just say about my sons you dime-store bimbo?" It wasn't one of her father's revolvers, that she held it was hers. a Dirty Harry special that had been a birthday gift from her favorite brother Jasper.

That is when silence fell over the dining room, the only noise was her brother moaning in pain, the continued sounds of fists striking flesh in the family room, which were predicated by, cries of pain and a raspy voice saying, "Not so tough now are you, dumb ass?"

She was snapped back to the present by Vergil asking, "Mama are we being punished?"  
"No honey, why do you ask?"  
"Because of the purple singing dinosaur?" Vergil replied.

"Purple, singing…What the hell?" Sparda asked.

Bobby, her eldest brother replied, "Oh it's Barney." He held his hands up in surrender, "Now don't you give me that look Eva, it's not my fault. In this I agree with your husband on the, 'What the hell', but Helen's mom introduced the kids to it, and they love it."

Vergil tilted his head to the side and asked, "Why? Uncle Bobby, it's insulting!"

Bobby leaned over and put a companionable arm around Vergil's shoulders, "I agree with you child…but it keeps them quiet." Looked up and said, "And me drunk!"

Sparda snorted, and Jonah laughed out right, and said, "Come here Vergil." He would never admit it out loud and he really did try to love all his grandchildren equally, but there was something about Eva's two boys that made them his favorites. There were times that he imagined it was their hybrid nature, being part devil, yes, he knew what his son-in-law was, and so did The Bubbas, but their wives and children were none the wiser. They were also part angel and fey from this side of the family.

He pulled Vergil up on his lap and said, "Now listen to me child…"

(More to follow in the next part)

(Look forward to Part 7, A short preview…Mama there's a bad man in our closet!)

(If you happen to be a Dark-Hunter fan check out my one shot there called Makudus One, you can also find under my name)


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